So today I played my second ever live show.
Now, for those of you who don't know, which is probably everyone other than Sarrah and Joey, I have played one show before. I played bass at one of Joey's shows in some coffee shop I can't remember the name of. Personally, I thought it was a disaster. Joey played fine, I was the one who messed up. Mostly because I hadn't had time to practice the songs enough. It was kind of a last minute deal. Oddly, no one seemed to notice my mistakes except Joey and me, which was bad enough for me.
This time was completely different. I would be at Coram Deo for our present wrapping party, playing guitar and singing alongside Ryan, my church's music director, who would also be playing guitar and singing. He sang lead on the first song (Emmanuel). Then it was my turn. The song I would lead is the famous "What Child Is This?" I've kind of fallen in love with the song this Christmas season, I'm not sure why. But either way, I suggested it to Ryan and he asked me to lead it, so I did. After that I sang back-up on "O Come Let Us Adore Him." All in all I think I made a total of one mistake, and I myself hardly noticed it.
Before Ryan and I went up, I felt this odd feeling. Now, I was scared and nervous of going on stage. I kept getting reassurances from my future in-laws, my sister, and Sarrah, who had all heard our practice session. But right before the time to go up came, I was sitting next to Sarrah and it hit me that she was supporting me. I already knew that of course, but it hit me right then. And when I realized that, I felt like more than a scared little boy about to play karaoke in front of a church. I felt like a man. I knew that having her there was what made me able to step on that stage with even a remote expectation that it would go well.
When I went to Big Splash at Wild Waves one year, I watched one of my favorite local Christian rock bands: SoulDeep. At one point, the singer's daughter came down. She must've been three or four maybe. I had noticed before she came down that the singer had a wedding ring. I thought it was so cool. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe I just thought that him having a family was the result of serving God. Either way I knew I wanted that.
During our worship, my eyes continually went to Sarrah. She was to my left though so I realized I couldn't just look in her direction the whole time. But, at least once when I looked, our eyes met. And she smiled. Then I smiled. It made the whole thing a lot easier. Now I was that musician on stage with the supportive love on my side.
