My Bro's Getting Married Today

So, today my friend and brother Joey is getting married. It's such a weird thought. The guys and I have been anticipating this for about a year now. It's like the hit event of 2009 or something. Thankfully though, I've recently begun to learn what exactly the real meaning is when they're on the altar saying, "I do." I'm not going to go on about the same old picture of Christ and the church, although I agree with that fully and think it's awesome. Rather, I have a different yet related part of the picture to show you.

Summer is typically wedding season. Makes sense, doesn't it? Nice weather, blue skies, warmth, and all that whatnot abound at this time of year. Yes, even in Washington, who just likes to throw random curveballs at us. But as a result of wedding season, one can't help but hear people talking about weddings. Sarrah keeps getting surrounded by women talking about how guys proposed to them (which is one of the most frightening conversations for a man to be around during) or what happens to their bodies when they're pregnant (which is just a scary thought for BOTH genders).

But at the same time, one learns about marriage through his own relationship, with people and with his significant other.

A married couple, one who is dedicated to God, should know one another deeply and intimately. Sarrah and I talk about stuff, confide in one another. It's just made us closer. When I see a married couple, particularly an older one, I like to imagine they have that kind of knowledge of each other. And it's a beautiful thing.

Along with that comes a love that is willing to forgive. Some people want a fairy tale relationship. Simply put, it doesn't exist. No relationship worth its salt is perfect. We are fallible human beings. How can we possibly expect one another to be perfect in every way? We know we are not perfect; don't expect perfection from someone else. One should love his spouse enough to forget the wrongs. And vice versa, ladies. At least if one wants a relationship to work.

Then comes life. When two people go to the altar to give their vows, they are basically forgetting their old, individual lives for this new, joint one. The man's life has been thrown away. The woman's life has been thrown away. This new life includes both of them and belongs neither to one or the other, but to both of them as if they are a single person. They work as a unit to live the life God has planned for them together. Sarrah put this really well in a line of a poem:

Separate in body but united in Christ.

Isn't that beautiful? Now that I'm back to the normal picture, here goes. Christ died for the church. We (the church) must die for Christ. Likewise, a man and a woman lay down their lives for one another. And this happens every day. A man named Cairo was telling Hanna yesterday at the wedding rehearsal/setup that if she's not willing to die for just one month, or if Joey's not willing to die for just a month, there's going to be catastrophe. But if they are, it's awesome.

I'm sure there's a lot more to it. I'm absolutely certain I don't know everything there is to know about marriage. I wonder if anyone really does? I think I had something else I wanted to write, too, but I forgot what it was. So anyways, this is what I've learned thus far from observation as well as from my own relationship. That sounded like a scientific kind of sentence.

Now, I have a wedding to attend. Have a good one!

Prayer and Trust

So I believe there are two lessons that God wants me to learn: prayer and God-reliance.

It's as if He's been urging me to embrace these two things over the past few days. I, like many people I'm assuming, am guilty of not praying as often as I should as well as trying to rely on my own strength or working towards my own glory rather than God's. Let me tell you: doing this can only disappoint you.

I think the time I started realizing what I was doing was this past Sunday. My friend Ryan preached a sermon about letting God's glory shine through our weaknesses. Now, I've been a Christian all my life. I've heard this concept before and frankly, I agree with what it's talking about. But that doesn't mean I'm necessarily good at following that principle. In fact, I hadn't been following that principle recently. That realization hit me like a train.

Right now I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to figure out which way to go. I'm going for a degree in Integrated Multimedia. But this is a very broad field. It encompasses art, graphic design, music, audio engineering, film making, screenwriting, web design, photography, animation, and things along those lines. With so many different things to choose from, how can I know what I should be doing? This is a very uncertain part of my future.

Along with that, I know I want to attend Evergreen State College starting in Fall 2010. I would very much like to do this without loans, but it's looking more and more like I'm going to have to take one out. It costs around $17,000 a year to go if I live on-campus.

And in general, I've just been feeling like I've been trying to do things myself. Like trying to figure it all out with my own (admittedly lacking) mind. I want to do a lot of things. I'd love to write songs and record an EP sometime. I'd love to write screenplays and novels and all those cool things. Maybe making storyboards would be a good way to use what skill I have in art. But at the same time, all of these goals feel so far off like clouds in the sky, unreachable by my human hands.

All of this, without God in the mix, makes me feel crappy and negative, like there's no way I'll ever be able to do anything successfully. I also fear what would happen if I don't focus on God, which was why the sermon Ryan preached on Sunday hit me so hard; I was looking to my own success rather than God's glory, but I was having a hard time shifting my focus.

So today on my lunch break, I was reading chapter seven of a book called In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. It's a book about seizing God-ordained opportunities. Taking risks. Sounds like it would be applicable in this situation, wouldn't it? Well, it was going into my mind but it wasn't entirely convincing me.

That is, it wasn't until I came to the section about living in prayer mode. Batterson was talking about how people in prayer mode can see further than others can see and catch things others don't catch. Along with this, a previous chapter talked more about prayer, about how when we turn to God, but don't know what to actually say with words, God still hears us. Our groans, screams, and sighs are prayers as long as we come to God with them. This went into my mind and stayed because, not only are there times when I don't know what to say when I pray, but I already knew I hadn't been praying as often as I should be, nor truly turning to God for answers.

After reading this chapter I decided that, on my next break, I was going to start prayer-walking again. It's something I used to do on my breaks until my left foot started seriously hurting to walk on for too long. But now that my foot is healed I can do it. I just haven't been. So I went on my prayer-walk and lay the thoughts that weighed on me before God. I also asked Him to reveal the way, His way, to me, and to give me the strength and courage to take that path when I see it, even if it seems uncertain. I honestly, truly meant every word I said to Him. And, for the first time in a while, I felt a sense of peace. I knew in my heart that God was going to reveal His plans to me, and that those plans will be clear when it's time for me to follow. Whether or not they involve Evergreen, they will be revealed. And to be honest, they'll probably, meaning most likely, be difficult to follow, but it'll be so very worth it to do so.

So here I am at 12:48 in the morning, writing to what readers I have out in the blogosphere. I'm going to sound like a cheesy kids story when I say this, but the moral of the story (yes) lies in Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.^NIV

When we truly, honestly lay our concerns before God, and are really fully willing to submit to Him, we can feel a sense of peace because we know the answers will come. They may not come immediately, but we can rest assured that they will come on God's timing, which is the best timing. It's a lesson I've been learning since mid-May and will continue to learn for the rest of my life.

For Sparta, and For the Sake of Blogging

So, I really don't know what on earth to blog about right now. I just know I haven't in a while and...well, I feel like writing something.

Today my friend Ryan gave a sermon at church about finding God's power in weakness. Why would God want to use incredibly weak people like us to do His extraordinary work? I wish I had taken some notes because then I could list the reasons he gave, but I find I need to truly, honestly let God do His work so that He gets the glory, not let God help me with my work so that I get the credit and I say, "God helped a little."

Ryan related a story to us from Acts 19:11-20. It's a funny story about how Paul, as well as aprons and laundry that had touched Paul's skin could heal wounds and cast out demons, but exorcists who were paid to do stuff like this were incapable of doing so. They tried to cast out a demon in Jesus' name, but the demon-possessed man overpowered them all and left them running away naked and bleeding. Imagine that. A bunch of naked people running out of a building. Kind of a funny thought.

Why did this happen? The exorcists were typically in witchcraft, sorcery, and making money. Jesus was an incantation to them, the next money-making thing. To Paul, He was a real person, the real God, Who deserved the credit for every good thing. I think I've been acting like the exorcists when I should be acting more like Paul. God should get credit, not me. I don't do diddly squat.

God should get credit for every good thing. For example, love.

Simply put, I love Sarrah. Is this because I'm some amazing, loving person? I don't know. But the way I see it is this: If God is Love, He enables us to love. So if we love, God should get credit for it. That's not to say that one who doesn't believe in God is incapable of love. Rather, love exists because of God, who is everywhere around us. If not for God, I'd probably hate the lot of you and tell you all to screw yourselves and jump off a bridge.

I've got no real idea why I'm writing any of this. It's probably pretty stupid actually. I just wanted to blog about something. So, here I am...blogging. Yep. Have a nice night, stay classy, and whatnot.