Upward I Look

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin 

When the band and I were playing "Before the Throne of God Above" during church today, I realized that this verse in the song practically describes me.

I'm one of those kinds of people who has a hard time with guilt and shame. When I've sinned and I know it, when I hurt people, I get very down on myself. I beat myself up, call myself horrible names while looking in the mirror...it's not pretty. I've had this problem as long as I can remember. I've only recently realized that it was Satan getting at me and prodding me in all my weak points, telling me that I can never be redeemed, I can't amount to anything, etc. Thinking about this causes me incredible and deep despair.

But lately I've realized that the problems and struggles that I have are indicators of how much I need God. I, apart from God, am an irredeemable, wretched sinner. I've also learned that, despite how wretched a man I am, God saw fit to save me by the power of His Gospel. Jesus' death and resurrection have brought me to life and have changed me far more than I'll ever know. When I add this thought to what I said earlier, what I feel is not despair, but joy. God has redeemed me! He saves me every day and is sanctifying me! Why me of all people? I don't deserve it any more than anyone else.

Sometimes delving into theology can have great results.

My Understanding of the Tulip

Update 11/12/2010: This post no longer reflects my views on Calvinism, as I would consider myself a Calvinist by definition, even though I think the Bible and Christianity are far more complex than simply Calvinism. A post on this will come soon. However, I have chosen to keep this post as a record of my and Sarrah's spiritual journey).

I, meaning Sarrah and I, have been doing a lot of research on Christianity lately, which mostly involves the Five Points of Calvinism. What are the five points, you ask? They came be summed up as TULIP:

1. Total Depravity
2. Unconditional Election
3. Limited Atonement
4. Irresistible Grace
5. Perseverance of the Saints

So what have I learned about these five points so far? Or rather, what is my understanding of them? Allow me to tell you.

Total Depravity

Total Depravity means that humanity, basically, is evil. So evil that, left to our own devices apart from the Holy Spirit working on our hearts, we will never, ever choose God. This I basically believe.

Unconditional Election

This means that God chooses us to be His followers apart from any merit of our own. We do not earn God's approval or justification; rather, we are justified and saved because God chooses us to be by His grace. This I also believe.

Limited Atonement

This is where it gets tricky. Limited Atonement means that God only chooses some people to be saved, not everyone. He decides to work on the hearts only of those people He chooses. Why would He do this? The Calvinist answer is in Romans 9:19-24:

You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?" But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? (English Standard Version)

In other words, we aren't meant to know. I don't know what I think about this. To an extent I believe it. But earlier in Romans 8:28-30 it says this:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (ESV)

I tend to take this as meaning that God looked through time, saw who would choose Him (which goes against the Calvinist view of Limited Atonement) and picked those people. But at the same time I notice that the passage does NOT say that he predestined them because he foreknew them. Maybe it just means He knew them from the beginning of time?

One other notable thing. A common argument I hear from the Arminian viewpoint is that, if God predestinated us, why evangelize? Paul gives the answer in Romans that people won't believe unless they hear the Word (Romans 10:14). I know several Calvinists, and not one of them would agree that there is no point in evangelizing. I can't give the explanation as to how that all works, like why we would need to evangelize if God has predestined people. I'm certain that question will still be raised. Maybe I just don't know because I'm not God. But, regardless, I know that we need to preach.

Irresistible Grace

This point is practically the center of all of the points. It's fairly self-explanatory. God's grace is irresistible. In other words, when the Holy Spirit begins to work on your heart, you can bicker with Him all you want; eventually you're gonna pick Him. This can only work if Limited Atonement is true, and even then it's not necessarily true. If Unlimited Atonement is true, God's grace is resistible. If Limited Atonement is true it could go either way. Likewise, if Irresistible Grace is true it proves Limited Atonement. But if God's grace is resistible, it would most likely prove Unlimited Atonement, because if the elect could simply resist, how could they truly be elect?

Perseverance of the Saints

Perseverance of the Saints means that once one is truly saved, they can never NOT be saved. But what about all those people who become Christians and then fall away from the faith? Well, the answer given is that that person probably wasn't saved in the first place. I believe a passage commonly used to prove this point is John 10:27-30:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one. (ESV)

Oddly, I became slightly more Calvinist upon reading this verse just now.

But then there are verses imploring people to not fall away from God, such as Hebrews 3:12-14:

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. (ESV)

I don't know if I quite understand why this or other verses would be in the Bible if we couldn't lose salvation in some way. Now, I don't think that we lose salvation every time we sin; then how good can salvation really be? But if we can, I'd say it happens after a total loss of faith and belief in the promises of God. That verse up there seems to support that idea.

So this is my understanding of the TULIP, the Five Points of Calvinism. Since I know several Calvinists who will probably read this, perhaps you can correct me in any errors I may have made, answer any questions I may have posed in this blog, or the like.

Also, one may wonder why I used the ESV Bible in this post? No, I have not become a "Driscollite." I looked up the ESV Bible and it seemed to be most heavily supported by Calvinists, so it made sense to me to use it in this post.