Journaling

I've been going through the Gospel of John lately. And I love it.

Before I started reading it, I committed myself to journaling about the entire book. I'd write an entry about every passage I read through per day. And I'm really glad I did. I want to encourage you to journal in your own personal Bible study, because, in my opinion, you'll get so much out of it if you do.

It encourages you to take a closer look at a passage

This has been remarkable for me. I used to get up in the morning and read the Bible while I was half asleep, only to find out later as I wrote in my journal that I missed something or misread something initially. The Bible is a lot clearer about a lot of things than one may think. For example, in John 7:49, I initially read it like this. The Pharisees said:

"But this crowd does not know the law is accursed."

I was confused. But later on as I studied closer, I realized it actually said:

"But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed."

See? That made a whole lot more sense. The Pharisees thought they were better than everyone else, so this quote is not surprising, if not startling. I knew they were arrogant, but yeah.

It causes you to see context

Again, this has been great. In John 8, Jesus is talking about his Father and the Pharisees' father. They are descended from Abraham. But Jesus is referring to their father a lot and saying that Abraham did not do the things they did. Later in the passage, he established that their father was, in fact, the devil. It's something that makes sense and is a no-brainer, but it's only when you take a look at the passage that you really see Jesus is referring to this the entire time.

It lets you dwell on Scripture

When you're writing down your thoughts, you tend to try to organize them. At least I do. Also, when I'm writing things down I remember them better and I understand it better. The Bible is clear, but memory and organization tools really help one to understand.

So, in your time in God's Word, I want to encourage you to journal. There's no right or wrong way to do it. You can write every day, multiple times a day, or once a week, whichever works best for you. And do this remembering that it's all about Jesus. Pray to God to reveal his truth to you and it will happen.

Peace!

October Idiot

God's been trying to humble me lately. And you know what? It's working.

I think the best story for this I can give is our money situation. Basically, because my dad was in the Navy, I get two years of school paid for and get paid as long as I'm a full-time student. It's a sweet deal when it works.

That's the thing though. Sarrah and I have been unemployed since two weeks before we got married. With this economy it's been exceptionally hard for her to find a job. I've been going to school and am so overwhelmed with homework that I don't feel like I could be a decent husband if I used the remainder of my time during the day working. I'd never see my wife.

Then the money took forever to actually come. One night I had essentially reached my limit. It hadn't helped that I had just listened to this Mark Driscoll sermon where he basically does everything in his power to make married men (and boyfriends living with their girlfriends) feel like crap. I felt like I wasn't doing a good job leading for one thing. I had brought us here to Olympia, far away from all our family and friends. I decided to go to school so soon after getting married. I felt like the reason we were going broke. I wound up ranting to a friend of mine about this.

The next day, the money came. It went to my parents' house as a check (it's supposed to be direct deposited into my bank account), but it was still good! Finally a result!

Then of course I found out it was my fault it took so long anyways because I had given them the wrong bank number and they had my parents' address on file, not mine. The money had been rejected by whatever other bank account there was and got sent there as a check. Wow, I fail.

Finally, after feeling incredibly stupid, I decided, "Whatever. I'm human. I'm imperfect."

I think God's been doing that lately. Trying to make me feel like an utter idiot...at least if I try to do something without Him, that is. And that really is a stupid thing to do, isn't it? "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" and whatnot.

So anyways, that's my update. It's funny how the money came the day after I go ranting about everything to someone. It's like God was saying, "You know, if you were just patient..."

Foolishness

Earlier today Sarrah and I were listening to one of John Piper's sermons, titled Fearlessness as a Sign of Destruction and Salvation. In a couple of sentences, it's about how we Christians shouldn't be afraid of labels like extremist or irrational. Not that we should embody these traits; we just shouldn't be afraid of being labeled as such by unbelievers.

I was thinking about that. I don't always speak out about my faith. I tell people I'm Christian or that I go to church and whatnot, or that I'm going to a Bible study later in the day. I can do that like it's an everyday thing, which for me it is.

But then I suddenly thought of something. When I'm on the internet, I don't always speak out about my beliefs. I know a lot of guys who go way deep into theology and philosophy. I'm learning about theology and philosophy, which these guys are too. But I don't always join in on these conversations/arguments about beliefs. When I thought of this I initially said, I just don't want to misrepresent the Christian faith or teach people wrong.

Then I realized something.

That's not it at all.

What it really is, what really keeps me from talking about specifics about my beliefs to these other Christian guys is not my wanting to be absolutely sure I'm representing the Christian faith as best as a fallen sinner can, but my unwillingness to appear foolish to my peers.

Take, for example, infant baptism. I don't know much about it. Right now I'm not convinced of it. But I'm the last person in the world who would get into a conversation with people who are talking about it. It's not simply because I don't know how to back up my belief that it's not a valid Christian doctrine. It's because I don't know how to counter the argument for it. That lack of knowledge keeps me from bringing it up at all because I don't want to look like a fool to my brothers. Oh, how selfish I am!

I also, as I'm writing this, realized one other thing. I want to learn about the Bible. I've been reading it as best I can every day since just before August. Yes, it is about a desire to know what God says about Himself. Yes, I want to know where to stand in my beliefs and why. No, it is not totally and utterly motivated by that.

There is a small part of me - a foolish, evil, selfish, sinful part - that wants to be able to defend myself in a group of people who believe differently than I do. On one hand that's great. One should be able to argue for Christianity. But that's not all there is to it. On the other hand I want to not appear foolish when talking to the multitude of theological Christian guys I know who all know everything about eschatology (end times study), Christology (the study of Christ), ecclesiology (the study of the church and the spelling of which I just now looked up so I wouldn't get it wrong and thus appear foolish), soteriology (the study of salvation doctrine), theodicy (the study of how God either permits or causes evil), and so forth. For the record, I just now looked up several of those terms and what they mean. I'm not actually so deeply theological so as to know those terms and their meanings off the top of my head. Thank you, Wikipedia.

Oh, sinful, wicked man that I am! My studying and learning about God have taught me how much I need God, and I need Him far more than I'll ever understand.

Sing Praises to the Lord with Song and Music

Shout for joy in the LORD, O you righteous!
        Praise befits the upright.
Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre;
        make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!
Sing to him a new song;
        play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.
 (Psalm 33:1-3 ESV)

I used to be the lead guitarist in The Citadel back at Coram Deo. I once wondered what, if anything, was my real role. A worship song is supposed to be about praising God, and that usually means singing, using words. That may involve chords on a guitar or a piano, and maybe even drums. But a lead guitar is meant to add extra musical melody to the song, which is what I did (besides sing backup vocals). I often asked myself, “What the heck am I adding to this worship?” And I think here, in these three verses, I find, at least, the beginning of an answer. I sing too, and I think these verses are about singing too, but it’s clear how that is used in worship.

The part that stuck out to me was in verse 3: “Play skillfully.” The reason this stood out to me was because it reminds me of something in Exodus 35-38. I noticed how God said in Exodus 36:1, “Bezalel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whom the LORD has put skill and intelligence to know how to do any work in the construction of the sanctuary shall work in accordance with all that the LORD has commanded.” God is the one who put the skill and knowledge in them to construct the temple! They were incredibly skilled architects because God gave them that gift. They used it for His glory. Not only that, but they followed God’s instructions perfectly to every measurement and little detail. And musicians, such as lead guitarists, are called to do the same thing. Everyone is.

Of course, there’s a difference between playing skillfully and playing for God. I think that that is a matter of the heart, not the fingers or the instrument. There are millions of extremely skilled musicians today (I personally think of Rush) who have God-given talents, but use them for much different reasons. These reasons range from money, to fame, to sex, to even the music itself, when they make music into a deity. But these are not God, the god of Israel, the Savior of the world and thus are improperly used gifts.

The Christian musician therefore needs his heart to be focused on God if he desires to “play skillfully on the strings” in a worshipful manner. What does this mean? I personally think it means playing not for one’s own glory or because one wants to be famous or well regarded. If one is truly focused on God while playing the music, if a guitar player truly desires to point to God with his music, if he or she is saying to the people “Worship God, not me”, then I believe they really are playing for the Lord with the right heart.

Beyond that, it’s up to the people to see that this gift, this music, exists only because God made it so. Verse 1 says “Shout for joy IN the Lord.” It doesn’t say “to the Lord”, although that is also a good thing and it probably also means that. It says “in.” I think it’s saying to worship in the power of the Holy Spirit, to long for and desire to be connected to God the Father and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. And music and art are wonderful ways for one to see the beauty and greatness of God.

Upward I Look

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin 

When the band and I were playing "Before the Throne of God Above" during church today, I realized that this verse in the song practically describes me.

I'm one of those kinds of people who has a hard time with guilt and shame. When I've sinned and I know it, when I hurt people, I get very down on myself. I beat myself up, call myself horrible names while looking in the mirror...it's not pretty. I've had this problem as long as I can remember. I've only recently realized that it was Satan getting at me and prodding me in all my weak points, telling me that I can never be redeemed, I can't amount to anything, etc. Thinking about this causes me incredible and deep despair.

But lately I've realized that the problems and struggles that I have are indicators of how much I need God. I, apart from God, am an irredeemable, wretched sinner. I've also learned that, despite how wretched a man I am, God saw fit to save me by the power of His Gospel. Jesus' death and resurrection have brought me to life and have changed me far more than I'll ever know. When I add this thought to what I said earlier, what I feel is not despair, but joy. God has redeemed me! He saves me every day and is sanctifying me! Why me of all people? I don't deserve it any more than anyone else.

Sometimes delving into theology can have great results.

My Understanding of the Tulip

Update 11/12/2010: This post no longer reflects my views on Calvinism, as I would consider myself a Calvinist by definition, even though I think the Bible and Christianity are far more complex than simply Calvinism. A post on this will come soon. However, I have chosen to keep this post as a record of my and Sarrah's spiritual journey).

I, meaning Sarrah and I, have been doing a lot of research on Christianity lately, which mostly involves the Five Points of Calvinism. What are the five points, you ask? They came be summed up as TULIP:

1. Total Depravity
2. Unconditional Election
3. Limited Atonement
4. Irresistible Grace
5. Perseverance of the Saints

So what have I learned about these five points so far? Or rather, what is my understanding of them? Allow me to tell you.

Total Depravity

Total Depravity means that humanity, basically, is evil. So evil that, left to our own devices apart from the Holy Spirit working on our hearts, we will never, ever choose God. This I basically believe.

Unconditional Election

This means that God chooses us to be His followers apart from any merit of our own. We do not earn God's approval or justification; rather, we are justified and saved because God chooses us to be by His grace. This I also believe.

Limited Atonement

This is where it gets tricky. Limited Atonement means that God only chooses some people to be saved, not everyone. He decides to work on the hearts only of those people He chooses. Why would He do this? The Calvinist answer is in Romans 9:19-24:

You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?" But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? (English Standard Version)

In other words, we aren't meant to know. I don't know what I think about this. To an extent I believe it. But earlier in Romans 8:28-30 it says this:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (ESV)

I tend to take this as meaning that God looked through time, saw who would choose Him (which goes against the Calvinist view of Limited Atonement) and picked those people. But at the same time I notice that the passage does NOT say that he predestined them because he foreknew them. Maybe it just means He knew them from the beginning of time?

One other notable thing. A common argument I hear from the Arminian viewpoint is that, if God predestinated us, why evangelize? Paul gives the answer in Romans that people won't believe unless they hear the Word (Romans 10:14). I know several Calvinists, and not one of them would agree that there is no point in evangelizing. I can't give the explanation as to how that all works, like why we would need to evangelize if God has predestined people. I'm certain that question will still be raised. Maybe I just don't know because I'm not God. But, regardless, I know that we need to preach.

Irresistible Grace

This point is practically the center of all of the points. It's fairly self-explanatory. God's grace is irresistible. In other words, when the Holy Spirit begins to work on your heart, you can bicker with Him all you want; eventually you're gonna pick Him. This can only work if Limited Atonement is true, and even then it's not necessarily true. If Unlimited Atonement is true, God's grace is resistible. If Limited Atonement is true it could go either way. Likewise, if Irresistible Grace is true it proves Limited Atonement. But if God's grace is resistible, it would most likely prove Unlimited Atonement, because if the elect could simply resist, how could they truly be elect?

Perseverance of the Saints

Perseverance of the Saints means that once one is truly saved, they can never NOT be saved. But what about all those people who become Christians and then fall away from the faith? Well, the answer given is that that person probably wasn't saved in the first place. I believe a passage commonly used to prove this point is John 10:27-30:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one. (ESV)

Oddly, I became slightly more Calvinist upon reading this verse just now.

But then there are verses imploring people to not fall away from God, such as Hebrews 3:12-14:

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. (ESV)

I don't know if I quite understand why this or other verses would be in the Bible if we couldn't lose salvation in some way. Now, I don't think that we lose salvation every time we sin; then how good can salvation really be? But if we can, I'd say it happens after a total loss of faith and belief in the promises of God. That verse up there seems to support that idea.

So this is my understanding of the TULIP, the Five Points of Calvinism. Since I know several Calvinists who will probably read this, perhaps you can correct me in any errors I may have made, answer any questions I may have posed in this blog, or the like.

Also, one may wonder why I used the ESV Bible in this post? No, I have not become a "Driscollite." I looked up the ESV Bible and it seemed to be most heavily supported by Calvinists, so it made sense to me to use it in this post.

Motivication

Some of you may know that I've recently undergone a lot of theological research. This includes a chronological reading plan and several sermon downloads off the Mars Hill website. I've heard of Mark Driscoll before but I only recently started listening to his preaching. Good stuff.

The funny thing about all this is that I get more of this done when I'm at work than at home. I listen to my iPod when I'm at my computer, usually listening to sermons. I read the Bible during my breaks. I've also started getting Christian audiobooks like The Case for Christ. I want to get Don Miller's newest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. But that's probably also because I'm a fan of Don Miller.

I also joined a band at my Church known as the Citadel.

I've been doing all this stuff, so many Christian things, like those crazy people who do nothing BUT Christian-related events like Christian schools, Christian books, Christian art contests. Not that there's anything wrong with those.

But yesterday I heard a sermon. It wasn't one I downloaded off the internet. It was at my church. It was about motives. The gist of it was that anything right done for the wrong reasons is still evil.

I know this isn't an overly profound or wordy blog. But it's basically caused me to take a look at what I'm doing. Am I doing this stuff because I want to be smart? Am I doing it out of genuinely wanting wisdom and growth and understanding of Scripture and God? Do I really read and listen to this stuff because I want to be a good leader for my future family? Or, God (literally) forbid, do I think on some level that doing stuff like this makes me right with God? I don't think it's the last one. In fact, I'm almost sure of it. But I do know that immersing myself in stuff like that is, at least, a help. I've also been blessed to have so many friends willing to help me along and offer their own wisdom. I've never been at a church where I felt like I could rant about this stuff and ask questions and people would actually read it and offer advice. So, thank you all.

Adam out. *warps away*

One Gigantic Network

Ever wish that God would just come out of the sky and say "This is the right teaching and this is wrong"?

I know what you're thinking. "That's what the Bible is for!" I know that. I'm not discrediting the Bible at all. In fact, I love it. The only problem is that, too often, humans find multiple meanings for a single teaching. This wouldn't be a problem if they didn't contradict one another.

I recently began some research/Bible study/an obsession about theology, wanting to learn what's wrong and what's right. I got The Case for Christ and The Shack. I've been looking up different books about Christianity, like C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. I have other books too, such as Blue Like Jazz and The Cross and the Switchblade that I read a while back. I've had other books recommended to me like Systematic Theology. And I even have The Chronological Study Bible. But do all of these things coordinate together?

For example, upon Sarrah's recommendation, I read The Shack. By read, I mean I got the audiobook and listened to it at work. I can honestly say I grew a little by listening to that book. It was quite incredible.

Now, Mark Driscoll, the leader of the Acts 29 Network, apparently hated it, saying it used "graven imagery" to portray Sabellianism, which is the belief of the Trinity as being three aspects of God rather than three distinct persons in One God. Or something like that. We really need to use layman's terms once in a while. Along with this, the church I attend is part of this network, Neo-Calvinist (not technically, but yeah) and my pastor, incredibly knowledgeable, is the one who recommended Systematic Theology to me.

Blue Like Jazz is a memoir by Donald Miller. Miller discusses various spiritual truths he learned. Having read this book, I can say I've found no objection to it. This book was recommended by several Armenian friends of mine, some of whom are incredibly knowledgeable themselves.

Over my relatively short lifetime I've heard different views on predestination, eternal security, and the like. Good sermons, bad sermons. Prosperity gospel. The Message Bible. OSAS. Religion. Non-religion. Not even Christian, but "followers of Christ." I've been to Baptist churches, Assemblies of God churches, and Presbyterian churches. I've heard the plague of frogs preached as a "get rid of that bad stuff" sermon. All sorts of...stuff. How do you tell what's right?

Again, layman's terms. Calvinism, Armenianism, OSAS. Words no one who doesn't research things will understand.

Here's my thought. Jesus was, and is, neither a Calvinist nor an Armenian. Jesus is God Himself, Who came to earth to save everyone and unite them as one body, His bride. He never preached anything contradictory with Himself. And if anything He said contradicted anything anyone else said, the other person was dead wrong.

This is one big ramble. Maybe what we need to do is unite all the churches into one big church, just like the Bible says we are. I don't even like the term "Acts 29 Network." I think it's a great thing, but there are so many churches that aren't part of this network. Shouldn't we all just be one giant "Jesus Network"?

That was my rant for the day. I hope it actually made some sense.

A Word, A Torch, and Dead Animals

Genesis 15 (New King James Version)

Six days ago I started reading The Chronological Study Bible, a Bible that Sarrah got for me. So far it's been really fascinating and quite the learning experience. Along with the verses themselves, the book has extra footnotes and short studies that talk about the cultural context. There were some that detailed different beliefs about Creation and the Flood, beliefs that just show how much greater our God is than the god of any other religion out there.

So I came to Genesis 15. This Bible is a New King James Version and titles it "God's Covenant with Abram." It details a ritual covenant where God promises to Abram that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars. "Then He brought him outside and said, 'Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.' And He said to him, 'So shall your descendants be'" (New King James Version, Gen. 15.5).

According to this study Bible, the ritual that took place was very similar to other ancient Near Eastern covenants. The suzerain, or stronger party, and the vassal, or the weaker party, would agree on terms and duties. Usually the suzerain would offer protection to the vassal and the vassal would support the suzerain with taxes or wartime loyalty. This ritual involved the vassal cutting various animals in half and walking between the pieces. This served as a sobering reminder of what would happen to the vassal should he fail to uphold his duties (Nelson 23).

Now, compare this to the Genesis 15 covenant. There are stark differences. One of the differences is the fact that the chapter details the duties of God, clearly the suzerain. He offers Abram His protection (Gen 15.1) and promises that Abram's descendants will be numerous (Gen 15.5).

Also, notice in Genesis 15:17 that Abram, the vassal, was not the one who walked between the dead animals. Rather, a burning torch did. This burning torch is a representation of God, saying "that He would die before He would allow His covenant with Abram to fail" (Nelson 23).

Isn't that awesome? Isn't it incredible how differently from us God works? In our culture, the stronger impose rules on the weaker and punish them for not upholding their side of the deal. God, however, has taken this duty on Himself.

But God, about two millennia later, put His money where His mouth was and did die. In fact, this was the Son that Abram was making the covenant with. If we look at Genesis 15:1, it clearly says "...the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision." Curious, I looked up several versions of this verse. Many of them use the exact same wording. Other versions, such as the New Living Translation, say "The Lord spoke to Abram in a vision," but the wording reflects the same meaning. Rather than simply say "The Lord said," which would still mean the same thing, the author is trying to get a very specific point across here.

That point can be found in John 1:1: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (New International Version). John, the author, is talking about Jesus. This means that Abram was making this covenant with the Son Himself!

Doesn't that blow your mind? Abram is standing here making a covenant with Jesus, a far more powerful person than Abram or anyone in history. And yet Jesus takes it on Himself to fulfill the law and swears to die rather than break it. And He did. We have all been saved because of it.

Works Cited

Nelson, Thomas. "Passing Between the Halves." The Chronological Study Bible. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2008. Print.

New International Version. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1984. Print.

New Living Translation. BibleGateway.com. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale Charitable Trust, 1996. Web. 16 May 2010.

That's the Way the Money Goes

I will start from the beginning.

Not too long ago Sarrah walked into a Jack in the Box somewhere. I don't remember where. But she was appalled to see that the people at the front register had been replaced by a machine in which you punch orders into. The reason for her outrage was because, by installing the machine, the owners are getting rid of jobs that people need, especially in our economy.

Now, it's good that she's engaged to me, because I also have my issues with the handling of jobs and businesses in our economy. The government talks about taxing the rich business owners more heavily in the name of rebuilding the economy. But if you know anything about business, you know that a business owner needs money to run his business. He needs to pay into supplies, insurance, employees. The heavier taxes mean that the owner has less money to pay into his business, which means he has to make cuts in order to stay in business. Typically this means layoffs, which just destroys jobs. Or it could just mean that the owner has to go out of business entirely, destroying even more jobs. What logic is there in this?

Anyways, random economic rant aside, I was thinking about this earlier today. We had stopped at a Jack in the Box with people at the front registers, so I texted Sarrah to tell her I wasn't a traitor. Then we drove by another, which got me thinking about stuff.

See, for a while now I've thought it would be cool to start my own media business. I was never really sure what I meant before, but more recently I've been thinking about audio work. But I always imagined it being just me. At least initially. Nowadays it would be both Sarrah and I as a team. But I started thinking it would be really cool if, should the business be successful enough, or should Sarrah and I get enough money, we hired some employees. Create a few jobs, help some people.

I told Sarrah this idea, starting off by wondering aloud if Evergreen (the college I'll be attending) had any business courses. I don't know if I knew she'd look it up or if I was just leading into my thought, but she found one which would fit into my schedule nicely. Thanks, love. :-) She also expanded on the original idea to include some interesting ways to help others.

We know some people with "history." History that makes it harder to find a decent job. Sarrah suggested that we could hire people like that. Obviously we'd have to find a way to make sure these people were legit, but I agreed with her. People deserve a second chance. And if you met some of my friends with histories, you'd never distrust them even the slightest bit.

I also mentioned offering internships to college students or entry-level jobs to people looking to get their feet in the door. As a college student, I know the market can be an intimidating place to think about. So does Sarrah. Why not help some of these kids out?

Of course, this is all a lot of speculation and dreaming. But you know, it's entirely possible. I've always wondered how audio work can help people. Maybe this is how. It'll take a lot of work. But, as I like to say (now), "Jehovah Jireh." Translated, it means "The LORD will provide." Plus, I've got a wife-to-be who wants to do this with me, which is a huge blessing because the Lord knows I'm not smart enough to pull it off alone. Well, I'm not as detail-oriented as she is, at least.

It'll take prayer, but if this is what God wants us to do, then nothing's gonna stop us.

God, The Original Transfiguration Professor

I remember back in the old days...

*flashback to Adam and Eve*

No, not that far!

*fast forward to a year or two ago*

Back in the days when I was a lowly fast-food worker, I would stand around in the kitchen with a lot of other guys. Most of these guys were non-believers. You know, the types who believe in sex before marriage, drugs, and stuff like that. A lot of them were very derogatory towards women. By that I mean judgmental. They'd talk about which co-workers they thought were hot (in other words, which women they'd f***). They'd also talk about any physical flaws they could find and laugh about them. I would think to myself just how stupid they were.

What a hypocrite I was.

You see, I was pretty similar in respects. I was more judgmental than I care to admit. I was capable of finding even the most minuscule flaws in women. Whether their hips were just a little too big for their body or their nose was a little off center, I could typically find something. Whatever I could find would bother me. Now, I say "flaws" in the context of my way of thinking back then.

I also used to be big into make-up. I thought it was a sign of maturity. I thought that without make-up women were most likely ugly. I say most likely because I was literally surrounded by women who wore make-up.

I don't know when it was that my viewpoint started to change. I started to despise the country's standard of blond, thin, supermodel photoshopped image that doesn't actually exist. I thought it encouraged everyone to look like everyone else. What was so great about that? Wouldn't it be better to have a girlfriend or a wife who looks like herself and NOT like every other girl you know?

I started to think make-up was stupid. What was the point of it? Aren't people more beautiful how God made them? Interestingly enough, I wound up with a woman who rarely even wears make-up in the first place and looks very pretty with or without it. Maybe God wanted to change my way of thinking for her. Or maybe bringing her along was His way of saying, "Since you don't want a woman who wears loads of make-up, here you go." I like to think it's a mix.

I also stopped caring so much about "flaws." In fact, I started to not view them as flaws, but as differences that made them who they were. It's a process, one that I think is still ongoing.

I can only attribute this change to God. Thank You Lord, for changing the way I think. And I really mean thank God! I look back at the way I thought and I'm disgusted. Sometimes I worry that that old me will come back. But I have faith that God really does change hearts and minds.

Here's my way of thinking now: Everyone is different. And every single detail, whether physical, mental, or otherwise, is of the full intention of God. That's what makes beauty beautiful.

'Nuff said.

Conquering...LIKE SPARTAAAA!!

So there's a passage in the Bible that I've known about for a while now. But last night Sarrah, the most beautiful woman ever, caused me to see it in a different context than I had for several years.

The passage is Romans 8:28-39:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV)

Now, the part that I've known about is "In all these things we are more than conquerors..." I've always read this as meaning that, with God, we can conquer anything. I saw the more than conquerors part as the meat of the verse. I still think that meaning applies. But Sarrah read it in a bit of a different way, a way that, when I thought about it, I preferred.

She took that part that I knew about and continued to "through him who loved us." She saw THAT as the important part of the verse and interpreted it as saying that we aren't conquerors. I thought about it and, as Sarrah put it, fleshed it out.

Through God's love, we are more than conquerors. This is not to say that we conquer anything. God is the One Who conquers. To be more than a conqueror means, not that we conquer, but that we are on God's side when He conquers something. To be more than a conqueror means that God is glorified when we overcome something through Him and His power. To be more than a conqueror means that we have received God's grace, and as a result, anything He triumphs over is no longer an obstacle for us.

Personally, I like this idea. It shows a lot more God than my original idea did. Sarrah read it in a unique way that made me think. Thank You Lord, for Sarrah and for conquering!

Thoughts and comments are welcome and encouraged.